...to catch up...

"God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble..." Ps. 46:1

My Mom read this verse to me yesterday... do I believe it? ... I falter many times, but know without a doubt that it is God who gets me through this trouble called cancer.

... chemo is VERY rough this time and knocks me back in the bed... BUT my results from the MRI taken on Monday(May 7)  shows that it has knocked the cancer back 25% !

...I'm on another 9 week cycle of chemo followed by another MRI praying it's knocked back further ~ gone preferably! ~ operable or more chemo.... I'm forced to take ONE day at a time, or my mind can't take it.

My family~friends have been amazing as they are on this journey with me ~ couldn't do it without them! Thank you for your prayers...

I still have my hair! and it's curly and all colors of the 'platinum' scale! I prayed I'd have hair for these events! Yes- the little things in life matter :)  We look forward to the end of the school year events with the major one being GRADUATION! Yes! Adeline and Madison will graduate on June 2nd! I've been their main teacher all 12 years and YEAH for the end! Dance recitals ~ family coming in ~ and summer sunshine!

22 YEARS Today!!

...March 10th is the day we married 22 years ago. I am so blessed to have Montie as my husband...

... am feeling the effects of chemo ~ had my first treatment on the 8th... so thankful to have my best friend by my side.

Postponed....

"...not the news we wanted, but we will continue to fight this.." what my sweet Montie said after the doctor told us the report.

Monday morning my surgery was halted so the doctors could see by camera (scope)... They found that the cancer is too far advanced to be able to remove it all without chemo first. So they put in port and will start an agressive chemo regimine very soon.

my faithful friend Beth wanted me to post this too...love you Beth!

http://www.takethemameal.com/meals.php?t=RGRM0412

Surgery Scheduled...

Monday ~ February 27th ~ 9 am

a million emotions ...trying to stay focused on today...

Isaiah 43:1-3

"But now, this is what the LORD says -- he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you: I have summoned you by name; you are mine"."

Isaiah 41:15-17

"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them."

The Lord is my Shepherd...

Yesterday we received confirmation that there are 2 spots of cancer showing up on the PET scan... cervical and liver...

My 'case' will be presented by my doctor to a 'tumor board' on Thusday morning -Feb. 9th- this is a panel of specialized doctors to gather together to find the best plan for taking care of this....

We all are managing time...sometimes very strong... other times questioning why and crying for answers.....................Thank you for your prayers!

"The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You annoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." Psalm 23

...the cancer is back...

just got word today that the biopsies were + for cancer cells...

please pray

2012 !!

Wow, where to begin! Its been quite a while since I've posted...last year, to be exact. This is just a short update on how things are going around here....

Life is hard right now... My husband is the most wonderful man in the world, works hard and loves endlessly. The kids are all doing well, keeping up with schoolwork and laughing lots. Honestly, sometimes we sit stuck at the dinner table with six giggling children. As for me, well, its been a struggle. Cancer just wrecked my 'planned' life...
I'm still adjusting to the hormone changes(lack of that is) and trying to get back into the swing of a cancer-free schedule. I'm having trouble with swelling in my left leg and my feet! the bottoms of my feet !! Some days are harder than others. There are the moments when I simply want to give up, when I think I can't take it anymore. Crying is my most constant emotion these days. I'm on some kind of rollercoaster in my mind...making me weary. I'm sad and don't know why? depressed-but what about?

I have to constantly remind myself that life is precious. A good friend told me, "if you wake up in the morning and are breathing, today has a purpose". I'll admit the fear of cancer returning to my body - is terrifying. Its easy to let anxiousness build up inside, let it consume my thoughts and somewhat control on how I live out everyday life. However... Life can't be put on hold because of fear and worry. "Which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life's span?" Jesus asked this in Luke 12:25. Its plainly stated, so why do I do it? God is always and forever in control of all and He promises never to give us anything we cannot handle. Sometimes I just want to see the BIG picture... but then that exposes my lack of trust.

I will go back for my 3 month check-up later this month... that floods me with a multitude of emotion...Praying for good words as life moves on...

new fabrics are posted!! look on fabrics page!

pressing on

i can say without a doubt in my mind, that i am thankful. thankful for my family who surrounds me with love, for a Heavenly Father who loves me unconditionally. there's a certianty of knowing life itself is a blessing. this road has been long and hard, nobody could have prepared me for what i went through. no amount of words can describe the external and internal pain of having cancer, some things just can't be explained with such ease. now that my journey is at its end, another begins. the path of recovering from this seems to me a strange one to take. from the moment i was told the cancer had completely left my body, i knew a miracle had been preformed. there is no other explanation, God healed me and took my sickness away. and like a solider returning from a war-trodden country, i am settling back into the world of health i once knew. fighting the cancer was truly a physical, emotional, and spiritual battle. and as i heal from the hard times, i know that He will hold my hand, like He has always done and forever will do.

...ports and important things

Monday: surgery: taking my port out: please pray all to go well! Thank you

more important news...

celebrated Esther's 6th birthday on November 3rd!!

will celebrate Adeline's and Madison's 18th birthday this week!!

Cancer Free !!!!

...now 'that's' POPPY DIP!

thank you Lord!!

Pumpkin Patch at the Ring Farm

My VERY Best Friend!

So Thankful For My Montie

update: done with chemo: awaiting my PET Scan on the 27th: gray/white/silver/dark hair about 3/8" tall now: sewing again: THANKFUL for life today

Fabric is in the 'shoppe'!!

take a look on the' fabrics ' page.... custom orders welcome!!

6th one!

Thursday.... my last... 6th chemo treatment